IKEA

On Friday, I went to a fellow teacher's house for brunch with some of the student teachers. It was sort of a last minute thing, so Wiebke, who I was going to catch a ride with, didn't actually have room in her car. So, I took the bus. No big deal. Unfortunately, I actually had no idea where I was going. I mean, I had the address and the town, but not which bus stop or how to proceed from the bus stop. I asked the bus driver and he didn't know either. So, I rode to the last stop. (Sidenote: an old dude got on the bus while we were still in the city and sat right next to me. We were the only two people on the bus at the last stop, him still sitting right next to me) From there, I asked for directions and eventually found Julia's place.

This is relevant because I then decided that the same logic would work for finding IKEA. I hopped off the bus at a random bus stop in Kiel, figuring it's a small enough city that I could find an IKEA, which, as a rule, is a gigantic bright yellow building. Hard to miss. Or so I thought. I walked around for a while, leisurely wandering in the direction that I thought IKEA was. After half an hour or so, I still hadn't found it, even though I had checked a bus map (no streets, only bus stops) and was definitely going in the right direction. Instead, I went home.

Yesterday, I took the direct route: the bus that goes from Exerzierplatz (a couple streets away and where the Farmer's Market is) to IKEA. Much easier. Turns out, I was in the ballpark the day before and had only needed to turn right and walk a couple streets further to find it. Oh well. Anyway, there I was, IKEA.

We had gone to the Berlin-Spandau IKEA on a Wednesday afternoon; it's one of four in Berlin and it was a Wednesday, so it wasn't too crowded. I went to the only IKEA in the area on a Saturday afternoon. It was hilarious. If you are unfamiliar with IKEA, the basic setup is this: you walk around a gigantic show room of sorts along a path dictated by arrows on the floor. In this room are all of IKEA's furniture offerings, each with its own name, like Billy or Ektorp. They are set up not only so that you can test out the sofas and chairs but also so that you can see how they would work in your home. There are fully decorated apartments in an IKEA, all with named and coordinated furniture that you can buy too and set up in your very own small European apartment. You could pretty much live in IKEA.

As I wandered around and admired the furniture that I can't afford, I realized that next time I go, I'll have to bring my camera and try to play sneaky photographer. There was a family of five all sitting on one three-person couch. There was a young couple making out in a model kitchen, while other people also checked out the dining room. There was a young boy testing mattresses. And by that, I mean there was a toddler rolling around on mattresses and grinning wildly. Everywhere, there were people planning out new homes, entirely decorated by IKEA. Strange.

I kept walking and exited the showroom only to enter the Markthalle. Basically, this is where you accessorize. I bought a coffee press and a thermos. Because I didn't have either one and not having coffee at home was terrible for me. After checking out without buying any furniture, I hit up the hot dog stand. Because there was a hot dog stand. And Bine's roommate Steini had highly recommended the IKEA hot dogs last time we went, but we'd had a four hour long breakfast and were not hungry. But anyway. A 1 Euro hot dog! This had to be a good idea. You could also get a free drink with your hot dog, but I opted for a milkshake (the untold and uncompleted mission of Hamburg was trying to find a milkshake). I was handed a plain hot dog, a cup and a milkshake token. The milkshake token activates the milkshake machine which then gives you a milkshake. Then! You get to top the hot dog all by yourself with an array of toppings including ketchup, mustard, snack dressing, pickle slices and what I thought were bacon bits. I have no idea what the "snack dressing" was, pickle slices are not the best choice for a hot dog topping (this is why we have relish) and I'm not really sure what the not-bacon-bits were.

I built my hot dog, got my milkshake and everything while still holding onto my new coffee press. That was a feat of coordination that I wasn't sure I could handle, but it worked out in the end. The hot dog wasn't bad, definitely worth a Euro. And the milkshake was worth the wait. Then I went home and made a pot of coffee. Because I can.